Homeopathy: The Dark Side
So we all know of the homeopathic remedies. It’s a very out of date theory about how to properly heal our bodies when we’re ill. And we all (should) know that it’s all pseudoscience and bunk. Unfortunately many don’t… hopefully because they just haven’t looked in to the “science” behind this.
So, a quick refresher for you: Like cures like. This is called the “The Law of Similars”. Yes, you may have laughed out loud at that part, and I don’t blame you. Much like we have the law of gravity, this too is a law. What does it mean? Well… say you have a massive headache. To cure said headache, according to this “law”, you need to take something that is natural and causes a massive headache.
I know, I know… that’s just stupid! If it causes a massive headache it will just make your headache worse!
And you’re right! If you don’t dilute it first!
“The Law of Similars” only works if you dilute the agent in water. And when I say dilute… holy crap… not just like the dilution you do to concentrated frozen orange juice. Imagine dropping that frozen orange juice in one of Michigan’s Great Lakes and then you’ll be closer to just HOW diluted homeopathy requires.
You see, once you dilute it to the point that not even 1 atom of the original agent is left in the water, then you get to the true power of the agent! Yes, once you remove all of it, you have it’s essence! And essence is what homeopathy is all about. Essence and like cures like.
But! This can’t only work in the one direction. If you take the essence of snake poison to cure a bite from a poisonous snake, then surely if you take the essence of something that is good for you, you can do great harm. GREAT harm.
And this is the dark side of Homeopathy! *dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuun*
These possibilities are so frightening. Since it’s diluted to the point that no science can detect that it’s anything more than water, it’s impossible to know exactly what is safe and what is not. And it’s impossible to use as evidence!
Date rape water
Warn your daughters: do not drink any untrusted water! The recipe for this drug is horribly easy: 1 small shaving of a caffeine pill to 10 gallons of water. The smaller the shaving the better! Make sure you dilute that shaving evenly amongst all 10 gallons of water.
Caffeine is known for causing alertness and for “waking” you up in the morning. So obviously the essence of caffeine will put you in to a deep deep sleep.
Feverish DEATH water
Again… the ingredients and steps used to mix up this horrific poison are far too easy to get a hold of. Ingredients: 1 small shaving of an asperin to 10 gallons of water. Again, the smaller the shaving the better.
This is a horrific way to go. Asperin is known to ease pain and reduce fevers. 1 full cup of this horrific poison and you will die a painful, feverish death.
Walk on Water water
Perhaps this is the way Jesus did it? Ingredients: 1 very small rock to 10 gallons of water.
You’re probably screaming: “very small rock!?” Well, hear me out on this. What floats on water? A Duck. Right. But what else did we learn from that brilliant medieval logic? VERY SMALL ROCKS were not the answer. Therefore the essence of very small rocks will bestow the power to float on water! Drink a cup, then amaze your friends.
FLYING potion
This one is a bit harder to make. You have to find a really heavy rock. One near your own weight. Then you’ll need to crunch this rock up (maybe with a sledge hammer? or a jackhammer?) in to a dust. Then dissolve this dust in enough water that not a single atom is actually present in the water any longer.
Since rocks fall the same way that you fall when you step off a cliff… Then taking the essence of these rocks should bestow upon you the power to fly!
Homeopathy: this is exciting and dangerous stuff!