Sin Free For 10 Years
Coming up soon, sometime in October I think (definitely a few months before the new year), I celebrate my 10th year of rejecting the Christian God. Some may think, “Why is that such a big deal?” To me… it is a very big deal. I took Christianity seriously. I’m a bit obsessive. If you know me, you may have laughed out loud at the words “a bit”. So when I was a Christian, I didn’t fool around. I prayed, I studied, and I tried to live/think as I figured a Christian should. The difference in me, in what I think of myself, post-God is huge.
Today, while out grabbing some lunch, I was handed a card by an nice and calm old man. It was the perfect example of what I’ve been reflecting on lately.
Truth is Not Relative
Skipping over the obvious flaws in what this card is selling: Seriously? You want to claim that the “Truth” in the Bible is fully accurate, unchanging and relevant to today? Including all 10 commandments? OK, next time you work on the Sabbath I get to throw the first stone…
Oh, and “Man evolved from animals”? Haha! Seriously, you need to go read at least the basics of Evolution.
The parts of this card that made them relevant to my reflection on my life post-God are a bit disturbing:
- You do not know what is right and wrong. (Proverbs 21:2)
- You are sinful. (Romans 3:23)
- You alone are not worthy. (John 14:6)
- You are not a good person. (Matthew 19:17)
Quite a motivational message isn’t it? And when I was a Christian I took it to heart. I fully believed that I was flawed and incapable of improving beyond a certain point. I was always going to be in need of a savior, for I am sinful, unworthy, ignorant and just not good enough.
There were several major points in my life when I broke down sobbing over sin. Sin that hurt no one except an imaginary God. I was always trying to follow what I believed was right and wrong based off my faith, not of my heart. I was constantly trying to be who God wanted me to be, not who I was. I clearly remember several emails I wrote to my best-email-pal ever, Melody. In these emails I was distraught and confused… Constantly feeling like I was two-faced. One person on the outside that everyone knew, another on the inside that only a few knew.
So for me, to finally shed all my faith and be the good person I know I am, my 10 year anniversary of this transformation is important. My life has been so much happier, so much more “blessed”, and so much more sane, ever since I ditched God.
- Married a wonderful friend
- Janelle – Daughter
- Kincaid – Son
- Travis – Son
- River – Son
- Most of the pregnancies were extremely difficult, yet each baby was born healthy and is healthy now
- I have not gone a single day without work. Surviving countless layoffs and actually being laid off twice
Would my life had gone the same path with God? Hard to say. But I can definitely tell you, these have been the best, happiest and most blessed 10 years of my life. We did it all, Jillian and I, with no help from God. We are good enough, we know in our hearts what is right/wrong and we are sin free.