Do They REALLY Believe That?
Last Sunday I was watching a Simpsons episode. It was a “Lisa” episode that night, involving witchcraft. It was kind of fun, watching Lisa doubt her usual reliance on fact based science. She starts to get sucked in to Wicca as a couple of eerie “coincidences” happen. She gets an easy A on a school project, and, more drastically, witchcraft appears to have made most residents of Springfield blind. Of course, she saves the day and proves that no magic was used. There was a perfectly rational explanation for it all and she quickly loses any faith she had in witchcraft.
So that got me thinking about Wicca and what they believe. I remembered this funny Yahoo Answers question I stumbled upon one day. This girl, who is apparently a practicing Wiccan, wants to know a spell to turn herself in to a mermaid. She got a ton of funny responses about sure fire “magic spells” she could do in order to do this, all of them obviously making fun of her.
So I was thinking, “Do they REALLY believe in this stuff?” Do Wiccans really believe they can curse entire cities, causing mass blindness? Do Wiccans really believe they can transform in to other forms, including mythical creatures like Mermaids? Because if they do really believe these things, holy shit are they stupid.
So I googled it.
Turns out, Wiccans are no different than Christians. Just take away Jesus/God/Holy Spirit and replace it with Nature. Take out Praying and replace it with Magic. And *poof*, you have Wicca.
I know, that’s a huge generalization of both religions. My point is that I’ve gone my whole life thinking witchcraft was just something super-duper-crazy people believed in. It was obvious to me that “magic” does not exist. You don’t see people turning in to frogs/mermaids/whatever. You don’t see people flying on broomsticks. But that’s not what Wiccans apparently believe. At least, from the little effort I put in to looking to see what online Wicca communities have to say on this stuff.
What I found is that Wiccan “magic” is the same as Christian “prayer”.
I found lots of Wiccan pages that assert things like: “Sometimes spells work, sometimes they do not. Sometimes prayers produce results. Sometimes they do not.” and “Magic is not guaranteed. Neither is prayer to God.”
What kind of spells sometimes work?
- Spells to help someone get over an illness.
- Spells to help someone find a new job.
- Spells to help someone struggling through financial troubles.
- Spells to bring you extra luck throughout a day.
- Spells to help you come to the correct decision on an important matter.
- Spells for rain.
What kind of spells never work?
- Spells to transform in to mermaids.
- Spells to alter your appearance (i.e. change your eye color).
- Spells to restore an amputated limb.
- Spells that break the laws of physics (flying on a broom).
- Spells to read minds/teleport/etc.
- Spells to move mountains.
In fact, I even stumbled upon some “prayer chain” type sites/forums. But instead of asking for prayer support, they were asking for spells to be cast for them. Not “pray for my brother, he has pneumonia” but “cast a spell for my brother, he has pneumonia”.
All of these things can be said for prayer too.
What kind of prayers sometimes work?
- Prayers to help someone get over an illness.
- Prayers to help someone find a new job.
- Prayers to help someone struggling through financial troubles.
- Prayers to bring you extra luck throughout a day.
- Prayers to help you come to the correct decision on an important matter.
- Prayers for rain.
What kind of prayers never work?
- Prayers to transform in to mermaids.
- Prayers to alter your appearance (i.e. change your eye color).
- Prayers to restore an amputated limb.
- Prayers that break the laws of physics (flying on a broom).
- Prayers to read minds/teleport/etc.
- Prayers to move mountains.
So, are Wiccans crazy? No, I can’t say they are any more. Calling Wiccans crazy would be the same as calling Christians crazy. And calling Christians crazy would mean that I myself at one point in time was crazy. When I believed in the power of prayer, I do not believe that I was crazy. I have a different view on it all now though, and I strongly believe that prayer doesn’t hold up to any of its claims. But I understand why others do believe in it.
And so now, because of a Simpsons episode followed by some intense googling, I understand why people believe in the power of Wiccan magic. Now I can rest happily that the question, “Do Wiccans REALLY believe that!?” is answered with, “No, no they don’t.”
But why, why do people believe in Wiccan magic/Christian prayer but not in storybook magic/miraculous prayer? By “miraculous prayer” I refer to a prayer such as… restoring the limb of an amputee. What is the difference between the two? Why can you ask God for many things and seem to get them, but he refuses to grant requests for some things 100% of the time? Why are there magic spells that seem to work, but others that fail 100% of the time?
To me, it seems awfully convenient that the magic that works “sometimes” is always magic that can not be easily falsified. If magic ever works, that magic could easily be written off as a coincidence. The faithful, however, believe that it was “more” than just a coincidence. If the magic is done in a way that leaves no chance for coincidence, the magic always fails. (I’m using magic here to be an all encompassing word for Wicca/Prayer/Positive Thoughts/etc.) So anything outright and bold such as matter transformation/matter generation/breaking the laws of physics, or even not so bold claims done under properly run/double blind/placebo controlled studies, is on the list of things that never work.
So obviously all of these magic based faiths only work if the chance of coincidence is not removed. The question, “Can ‘magic’ do the impossible?” Is answered with “Yes, if you leave room for coincidence.” For instance, someone is diagnosed with a horrible form of cancer. They get magic support and go for a 2nd opinion a week later. Miraculously, there is no cancer. Magic? Or did the first physicians just give a wrong diagnosis? The true nature of such kind of uses of magic is revealed by properly run studies on the medical benefits of prayer. They all confirm that prayer has no medical benefit.
I’m happy to find that Wiccans don’t honestly believe that with the right spell they can turn in to a mermaid. And I’m happy that I’ve come to understand that Wiccans aren’t really all that different from Christians. I make comparisons between the two only because I am deeply familiar with Christianity, having been a Christian for a large part of my life. Not because I wanted to “lower Christians to the level of Wiccans”. I’m not lowering anything, I’m raising my own thoughts on Wiccans to the level of Christians.